My husband and I were convinced that we wouldn’t be able to conceive, as we are both severely overweight. So we were more than surprised when we literally fell pregnant straight away (if not a little disappointed having planned to have fun for many months!). We were both ecstatic, but straight away my insecurities began to kick in.

Would people realise I was pregnant?

Would I have a bump?

Would my baby be ok given how fat I was?

How much weight would I put on? (having read horror stories of pregnancy weight gain)

How much bigger will my boobs get?? (they started out as a 38G so you can understand my concern)

Would we be able to see the baby on ultrasound given the extra fat?

Would I have a long a difficult birth because I was so fat?

It took me until I was nearly 4 months pregnant to actually go out and buy maternity clothes – for a few reasons, mainly because I felt like a fraud and because I didn’t have a visible bump and thought people would think I was hanging out in the maternity section because I was fat rather than pregnant.

Then there was the problem of where to get maternity clothes as it seems you can’t be pregnant if you’re over a size 18. The only place I managed to find was Asda and even they only went up to a 20 – but they were generously sized so that was ok. I also found that I could get into a size smaller pants if I went for the non-bellywarmer style so I actually felt quite nice about that! (I’m back in my bellywarmer support pants now though – you can’t keep this fatty away from her support pants…having that wobbly belly hanging over bikinis just doesn’t feel right to me!)

Having managed to get some clothes but with still no bump visible to me (though it seemed to be obvious to everyone else), every time we ventured out of the house the same question would pass my lips ‘Do I look pregnant or fat?’.

I was convinced that I just looked fatter and had to explain to everyone that I was pregnant – making it extra obvious and over emphasising every movement – though how anyone could think I walked looking like I’d had a nasty accident normally without being pregnant I don’t know, as I’d got the ‘waddle’ very early on.  I found that the spare tyre I had under my boobs grew over my bump but made it look as though there was a dip in the middle (giving me a ‘double bump’) and the wobbly bit that was the bottom of my belly remained wobbly and saggy so you couldn’t see the bottom of my bump.

I had a pair of fabulous jeans from Asda that had a jersey front and I found that if I pulled them up I could disguise the double bump and look more pregnant, I’d even wear specific tshirts that made me look more pregnant if we went out anywhere as I was convinced – even up to 7+ months that I just looked fat.

At 33 weeks I had the dubious honour of being matron of honour for a friend. There were 3 bridesmaids and a flower girl ranging from 7 to 13 years and me, the big lilac fairy.

My husband got very bored and frustrated with me asking whether I just looked fat, he kept telling me that I was pregnant and that what did it matter whether I looked fat or not – but it mattered to me. I wanted that nice neat round bump that people could tell was a baby, not the sort where people don’t want to say anything in case they offend you and you’re fat rather than pregnant.

My bump turned out to be very rectangular and long rather than round and perfectly formed and I often complained that I didn’t have a proper bump which upset my husband a great deal, after all if it wasn’t a proper bump that meant there wasn’t a proper baby inside and that wasn’t true – we’d seen the scans for one!

At the end of the day whether I looked pregnant or fat shouldn’t have been an important thing but I wanted the world to know I was pregnant and being fat, I felt, hindered that. It’s a self confidence thing I think and as you can see (image below) I did look pregnant (even in my eyes!) 5 days before I had him – but it took me that long to actually feel that I looked pregnant (madness I now realise, but there you go).

So, now I finally have the answers to my questions…

Would people realise I was pregnant?

Oh yes they did –even if I didn’t realise it. The number of friends who commented on how big I was.. but of course I thought they were being kind…

Would I have a bump?

Oh yes – and I learned that bumps come in different shapes and sizes. I had a very elongated and rectangular bump, others look like they have footballs or rugby balls up their front. But each one has a baby in it so it doesn’t really matter!

Would my baby be ok given how fat I was?

 Well in our case he appears to be fine and has a very healthy appetite. And despite being only 7 weeks old at the time of writing he’s well established in his 3-6 month clothes, having outgrown his 0 – 3 months by week 5. 

How much weight would I put on? (having read horror stories of pregnancy weight gain)

Well I put on about 1.5 stone and lost nearly half of that when he was born. I had him on the Thursday and by Monday I was back in my normal clothes and by the following Monday I was back to my pre pregnancy weight.

How much bigger will my boobs get?? (they started out as a 38G so you can understand my concern)

You know it’s amazing how far up the alphabet cup sizes go? Three weeks before he was born, as advised, I went and got fitted for a nursing bra and was quite pleased to see that I’d only gone up a cup and back size…. However the week after he was born they ballooned again and I went up a few more sizes to a K. I’m hoping they’ll go down again once I’ve finished breastfeeding – although I think my husband is secretly hoping they don’t… good job I married a boob man that’s all I can say. 

Would we be able to see the baby on ultrasound given the extra fat?

The images weren’t as clear had I not been as fat but you could still definitely see there was a baby in there…even if it wasn’t being cooperative when we tried to see what sex it was…...

Would I have a long a difficult birth because I was so fat?

If you count walking around for goodness knows how long not knowing I was 4cm dialated and having no contractions, followed by a 4 hour labour (from first contraction to birth) on only gas and air with no rips, tears or cuts long and difficult then yeah, I did.

I just hope that next time I can relax more about being fat and pregnant (although you never know I may end up being super skinny if Daniel continues to eat so much and so often!).

The most important thing I learned is that it doesn’t matter – what mattered most is that my baby was healthy and was delivered safely, he doesn’t care how big I am or how ginourmous my boobs are (though I was convinced he was scared of them as he used to scream everytime he got near – but in actual fact he was just frustrated because he couldn’t latch on properly and it wasn’t anything to do with me), he loves me because I’m his Mummy and I look after him the best I can. And while I do still want to lose weight I have a new No. 1 priority in my life and he is the most important thing in the world.

Our family website: www.timandcarol.co.uk